Covert Metaphor

I’ve mentioned before that your body responds to your internal state. Even if you try hard to hide your terrible feelings about someone, there will be those who will pick up on it. That internal state will express itself in the way you talk, walk, or sit.

A simple test, which I find very amusing, is to bring up a certain memory charged with emotion. Really get into it as if you are there all over again. Then once that emotion has taken you over, go ahead and pick a random stranger and ask them directions to somewhere, even if you already know how to get there. Write down your internal state, your own physiology as you perceive it, and their reaction. Make sure and try to maintain your awareness externally and listen for their tonality and watch their facial expressions and body language.

Try out every emotion you can think of: happiness, sadness, anger, curiosity, love, hate, and so on. Repeat emotions as often as necessary until you begin to recognize different patterns emerge. This is not something you can just read about. You need to experience this. Just remember to really feel that state before you approach someone. Ask three or four people a day for a few months, and note down every thing in your journal.

After you get a feel for how this works, you can try eliciting states in others. First you must establish rapport before you start asking someone questions that might elicit a certain emotion. Once you have rapport, begin by asking questions that will make them go internal and elicit a state. For example, if you were in an interview you might ask something like the following:

“Tell me about a time when you hired the perfect candidate. How did you know they were the right person for the job?”

Now listen to their vocabulary closely. What kind of representational system is predominant? Are they using visual, auditory, or kinesthetic words? What kind of language are they using?

When you are sure they are at the height of their internal experience, you can repeat what they said, using their language, and anchor their state by marking off a word or making a certain gesture. You can innocently just scratch your forehead or run your fingers through your hair.

Then later when it’s your turn to talk about yourself, use the same vocabulary, and trigger the anchor. Now they will associate that state with you.

This can be done with anything, really. Next time someone is describing a wonderful time they had somewhere, get them to enter that state again and anchor it. Then whenever they see you, go ahead and trigger that anchor. After some time they’ll begin to associate you with those feelings of fun, laughter, and wonder.

admin :: Aug.13.2007 :: persuasion, NLP :: No Comments »

Trackback this post | Feed on Comments to this post