Commitment, Conflict, and Solution
Persuasion is a fact of life. Kids persuade their parents. Friends and couples persuade each other. In my opinion, there are very few people out there that serve others unconditionally. They expect some kind of reward. Even people who donate their time to help those in need do so out of egotistical reasons. We’re persuading each other all the time.
Have you ever asked a stranger to watch your things in a public place while you went to the restroom? I’m willing to bet that people who have done this have always come back to still find their things exactly where they left them. This is a form of persuasion and there is a very good reason why this works.
When you ask someone to do something and they agree, they are mentally committing to it. Breaking that commitment would cause an internal conflict, and by nature, most people avoid internal conflicts.
Master persuaders and salespeople are well aware of how internal conflict works and how to create it. It starts off simple enough by getting someone to say yes to small commitments. These small commitments seem innocent enough in the beginning, and then you’re in so deep you can’t really back out of it. Family members do this unconsciously all the time to each other.
For example, they may start off with, “Well, can you at least take a look at it to see if it interests you?” You answer yes. OK, you’ve committed.
Then they may ask, “This is definitely a purchase you’ll make at some point, right?” Another yes. Damn, committed again.
And then, “You said you wanted this, and you did come all the way out here after all. Just think how you would feel going home with it today.”
Suddenly you’re experiencing all this internal conflict you need to get rid of, and you’ll buy if they offer a solution.
This kind of interaction can be found everywhere. We see it between couples. We see it between a boss and their employees. It’s everywhere. I often see this type of interaction in the workplace. There’s always that co-worker who keeps getting everyone to commit to little favors, until finally people are actually doing that person’s job for them.
Of course, if you only offer internal conflict most sensible people will begin to get a bit angry. So, you offer them a solution; a way out of the conflict you created. This is beginning to sound a little something like what a government does to its people. First get them to commit to those little things – get them saying ‘yes’. Create some conflict and then offer a solution. Instant control.
Next time you see one of those commercials asking for money donations in order to help a good cause, think about what you just read here. I mean you could afford at least a dollar a day to help a sick child, couldn’t you? I’m not against helping others in need. I’m just making a point here.
Get commitment, create conflict, offer solution. It’s used by everyone for everything.
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admin :: Jul.26.2007 :: persuasion :: 2 Comments »
I agree with you that we should be prudent with what we see and hear before making any commitments. I disagree, however, with the notion that there aren’t many selfless people out there. I have written extensively about this in my blog.
I will go give your blog a read. Thanks for the comment.
In your experience what has convinced you to believe there are a lot of selfless people out there? I’m am interested in seeing the situation from your perspective.