Non-verbal Persuasion
I’ve been told often by people that I can be intimidating when they first meet me. At times I pick up on some uneasiness, but I never put too much thought into it. That is until I started studying body language and non-verbal communication.
I meditate quite often, and so I am rather calm in most situations. I speak only when I feel I have something important to say. My movements and gestures are usually kept to a minimum unless I am creating rapport and doing a bit of mirroring, but for the most part it is very easy for me to keep very still for hours on end.
According to many studies on non-verbal communication and body language, people rate the power and status of a person based on how many gestures they make. The less physical movement signifies more power.
The problem begins when you try to remain still, but feel very self-conscious. You may be able to keep your body still for the most part, but that doesn’t change the fact that your face has over 90 muscles, 30 of which express emotion. If I can read your facial microexpression (which last less than a quarter of a second), I will be able to identify what you are really feeling even if you managed to hide it. Less than a quarter of a second is all I need. Don’t worry though. This skill took a lot of practice to develop. You’ll be safe around most people.
So, next time you are in a social or business situation, pay close attention to your facial muscles. You can become very good at recognizing your unconscious microexpressions. After some practice you will be able to identify the emotion related to the expression. Then it becomes only natural when you notice the same expressions on other people.
Paul Ekman, author of the excellent book Emotions Revealed, has created some very useful software that will flash microexpressions of different faces on the screen, which increasingly become more difficult to recognize as you answer correctly. It is fairly priced and I highly recommend his book and this software if you are interested in this sort of thing.
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admin :: Jul.16.2007 :: body language :: 11 Comments »
Fuck this stuff is FUN!
So much to learn, so much to observe, so much to laugh about.
Yah, you’d probably make me uncomfortable. But I’m pretty comfortable that.
Interesting Allen, I did not know that. Did you always have the buy me a coffee plugin?
Great article, I really enjoyed!
Thanks for the tips. I do a lot of interviewing and usually look for body language, I will start looking at the facial expressions.
This information is so useful and something I really have to work on. I have a real problem with rolling my eyes when I don’t know I’m doing it.. or having my face show distaste or disgust when I really don’t want it to show. People can read me like a book and I need to play my hand closer to the chest. Can you really develop a poker face after a lifetime of being this way?
I also tend to mirror a lot when I dont’ mean to do it. Can that be corrected?
All the body language that you learned, what is the purpose for you? Can we use it for our own advantage? I would love to learn more from you.. probably i can use on my date… can we lead our date towards what we want? just wondering.. good article, but it is only me.. no experience and knowledge about this..
Wow! Interesting insight. I’m wondering why that chick at work does the whole ’stare at you and then look away when you look at me’ thing. It’s weird. And is very annoying, which may be part of the idea. Not sure…?
No one can ever completely hide facial microexpressions. People like politicians and high-level sales people train to minimize what they show, but you can never completely remove it.
These skills can definitely be used in dating. I am currently writing a series of articles on dating persuasion which will cover body language signs as well.
These articles will definitely answer Dani and Taz’s questions.
You’re definitely on point,my boss makes no gestures whatsoever and is very calm in all situations but people seem to tremble in his wake ( but I am in Japan and physical gestures are’nt common anyway)
I would love to see a microexpression study of the stone faced Japanese with whom I live,work and play.
Do you say the “t” sound or is it silent?